Notes

really there's nothing better than lying drunk in a ditch

berlin as interzone

i should immediately turn heel and go back up the mountain but i have standup

the words aren't coming

dreamed that the berlin cdu banned bike helmets because they were damaging car bodywork

sometimes the absolute banality of work breaks thru my resolve and i just get crushed by a wave of despair. nothing even happened. it's just like the curtain wafted open a little bit when i wasn't paying attention and i was blasted by kms rays

tim needs to do more if he's going to give the massed humanity a brief reprieve from considering the burning of the republic. he simply must bring more whizzbangs

i've got that cèilidh leg

learned it during covid and i'm remembering it now: during the apocalypse, you'll be expected to come to work

german employment law

sometimes it's bad but sometimes my airpods are still warm from wireless charging when i put them in my earholes

i pine to leave my cold bolthole in berlin

today it's raining but only on my street. spring does that

i pine for my cold bolthole in berlin

do not ask for whom the venga bus comes, it comes for thee

what if we chartered a boat, i said

steaming, chewable air. air you could squeeze out of a tube

every time i do a big stretch, something right in my sternum pops. so there's that.

I am deathly afraid of winding up in a business park, lining up for the burger van because it's hump day.

The future of work is you getting ground up into a paste and superheated to make an adhesive that provides a reliable hold on both smooth and textured surfaces.

once you start running for mental health, you have to make a daily choice. either your legs hurt or your brain hurts.

lmao i just found out kate winslet was in avatar the way of water. i enjoyed that movie so much and i was so high

i asked chatgpt to: hold me

this morning, the announcement of cancelled tube services took longer than my transfer from one of the surviving lines to another. it was so loud too. it was like an art installation.

I used to be mastodon.social/@jackreid. now i'm social.lol/@nice because omg.lol is as unserious as i'd like things to be

its friday and the sun is shining and there are buds on the tree out the window

we are radically in support of 2020 erasure

love to sell all my stuff like im going away for a while (AWAY FOR A WHILE)

i never paid so much attention to the catkins

was thinking about how snow covered london looks from the sky and remembered that was something you used to get to see sometimes

screaming AND THEN in the brief moments between nothings happening

wake up and say something

omg the gme millionaire guy is cousin greg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIVscxs9oJg

quick q what happens to the cat's soul in soul

i was cursed to only speak in long, eloquent prose directly from my arse

haggus

look im sorry but My Neeps My Tats My Whisky And My

where do all the sleds come from

my ideal dog is unimaginably huge, larger than the earth. a lovecraftian titan who wants a scritch that can never be got

when u refer to a letter or its content outside of the context of a letter its considered breaking kayfabe and is frowned upon in the civil war reenactment community

here hold this it tells you everything thats going on everywhere all at once but without any context

winding it in for everybodys sake

all that stands between me and the void is one to two hours of shit tv a night

i get back from running in the park and i deliver my morning dog report in full and at length

desperately upset that the @secondgentleman handle is taken

i like the nervous host energy of the guy who wipes down the mic and lectern. do you want any more drinks? sorry the house is a real mess i didn't have much warning ahahaha

npm install logs being like wow this blew up here's my soundcloud and onlyfans support open source

cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; every time you try and change the bin the bag will be a bit small and will rip a bit

well look at you all stressed out and nowhere to go

watching them play gwent. throwing my beer and popcorn at the tv when the call's bullshit

running far enough that all the bits of my body fall off until im a head in a bin

the real victim of all of this is jack, who has to see himself in the facetime preview far more than he'd like

devastating ourselves with sad books of an evening

there must be so much food in the wrong place in this country right now

am i depressed again or did i just forget my afternoon coffee

on strike until the rain stops

you have died. you must complete your tasks.

just realised i dont know what counts as an animal, will report back

we voided some warranties tonight

500mg mashed potato every 5 minutes for 5 days

sometimes i'm struck by a thought and it's so awful and boring it chills me to the bone: what if i put the protein powder in a kilner jar with a little label

the coronavirus is a huge boon for Big QR Code

saying yes to two people on gumtree when there is only one 20l bag of cat litter to pick up, that's how i get my adrenaline. that's how i feel something

turns out the mind body problem was a deal breaker

parental visit: give them a couple of pints and watch them ho hum about how much that house would cost to buy (more than your life)

watching a documentary with my cat about why she's such an arsehole

there is nothing worse you can do to me than to buy me something ugly i have to own

we played firewatch on the weekend and i just want to know why henry is animated like such an oaf. just put it down on the table why are you throwing it across the room

nintendo are the best game company https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2mCqUSDCJE

when i hear you talking in the other room i want to come and listen. i know i've already heard it

i wrote this about the accessibility project at buzzfeed and what it means to me https://tech.buzzfeed.com/accessible-buzzfeed-2e1f3f94f352

the broken tap in my house emitting a loud sine wave day and night is very cool

throwing all the stuff i don't want directly into the garden because i am composting look it up

breaking up with my gym in a beautiful period building because the new one has a heated pool (cowardice)

we've decided the cat's head is too small

running into the cobbler and sweating all over the guy while i get him to cut a key for me quickly and he just doesnt give a shit who im robbing

i made this for myself and anybody who needs to donate to a bail fund https://really.lol/post/activist-relief-resources/

i got my white picket fence tyvm

lemon drizzle cakes are profane

i just feel like the relationship is missing something, like dastardly cunning and the element of surprise

cat trying to kill me

press the brain firmly down into the juicer to produce one (1) mistake

glaring at the sun outside as is tradition

i am the schlemiel. i am the schlamazel.

rode my bike until the pedal fell off today (almost immediately, not that good at putting a bike together)

screaming into the postbox, just popping that right in the post for you

and now everything is worse

in a way haven't we all been wearing masks this whole ti-

when we get out of here everybody's going to be so bad at hanging out. gonna be at a party where nobody knows how to stand cause they're only used to socialising from the chest up.

house full of dead tulips

i apologise for my repetitive, faulty, and annoying tweets today but also every day

daddy what did you do in the covid war, son i worked on user retention

ok here’s the next round of the quiz and you’re all gonna fuckin hate it

my cat is going to murder me in the night one day and i love her for it

python is a language for nasty weirdos

lost my bike so ran to chat with the deer

in a lot of ways we are all google meat

april's playlist closed for business

bought a laser pointer for the cat to confirm that she is really stupid

all out herbs have grown except the thyme. makes u think

brain runs out of yesyes juice within 1 day if i dont run around or lift

no longer ready for a week of rain

i will roast and eat cauliflower until i am successful

listen kid i can make all the pain stop right now, all you have to do is

every morning in lockdown i come downstairs singing a beautiful day in

the guys at the veg market are just selling us bigger and bigger

chris hemsworth explodes 300 heads (2020) dir. herzog

plumbing netflix for the latest trash to eat

look up noam gabo when all this is over

ready for a week of rain

Notes